We’ve had some fantastic jokes shared with us this week and we hope these help you to keep smiling. If you’d like to share a joke with us for next week, please pop an email to Suzi on development@esms.org.uk.

Shobha in P1 shared the following with us:

Q: What is brown, hairy and wears sunglasses?

A: A coconut on vacation

We’ve been joined in the joking by a couple of our alumni this week. We received the following from Harry Charnaud, a 1968 Daniel Stewart’s College alumnus, and they may be familiar to some of you:

Q: Where did Julius Ceasar keep his armies…

A: Up his sleevies!

Q: Where is Felixtowe?

A: at the end of Felix’s toe!

The following longer collection of puns has come from alumnus Ron Hunter, 1952 Daniel Stewart’s College leaver, now living in Australia:

It is with great sadness that I have to mention the loss of a few further local businesses around town:

The specialist in submersibles has gone under.

The manufacturer of food blenders has gone into liquidation.

A dog kennel has had to call in the retrievers.

The Heinz factory has been canned as they couldn’t ketchup with orders.

The suppliers of paper for origami enthusiasts has folded.

The tarmac laying company has reached the end of the road.

The bread Company has run out of dough.

The clock manufacturer has had to wind down and gone cuckoo.

The shoe shop has had to put their foot down and given their staff the boot.

The laundrette has been taken to the cleaners!

The pet shop has gone to the dogs.

The butcher’s had the chop.

The venetian blind shop has closed, so it’s curtains for us all

The wallpaper shop’s taken a pasting.

The florists are now pushing up the daisies.

The fish and chip shop has been battered.

The milkman’s lost his bottle 

And finally, the bread man’s toast.

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